Forgiveness

Can you truly forgive someone without saying so to their face?  I have never hated anyone in my life until I had a family member hurt me to the point where I almost lost it.  This person did almost the same exact thing to me twice, years apart, which made it so bad.  The hurt was so deep and bitter I learned what hate was.  I forgave once and what hurt the most was the fact that this person did it to me again.  That I didn't learn my lesson the first time and watch my back.  That I truly loved and believed they would never betray me like that again because they said so and they claimed the stupidity of youth.

So can you forgive someone and let go without having to see them?  I believe that I have forgiven but want nothing what so ever to do with them again.  I lived through breast cancer and lung cancer and have learned to value my friends and family deeply. I also feel I have no time to waste on someone whom I cannot trust and who crushed me the two times in my life when things were the worst for me.  The first betrayal was during the death of my first daughter. Funny how this person swears up and down it was not at that time. But not only do my friends and family remember, I kept a diary of my daughters short life span and all was recorded.  The second was years later when finally "the family" was back together and I was going through both the breast cancer and lung cancer at the same time.  

Am I fooling myself?  Have I not forgiven?  I know I have not forgotten.  I talk to this persons children and love them and do not down them to the kids. (Except for when it first happened)  But I know I never want to be in a room with this person.  Not so much because of hate, but because I am done with them and do not want to waste any of my life on them.   I know one day we will come face to face and maybe they may want to talk.  But how does that saying go?  Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.  There will never be a third time.  I guarantee it. I guess after reading this, I still have strong feelings.  But I don't think it is hate any longer.  Just disgust and a strong feeling of wanting to keep my distance. So I guess the question is not can you forgive someone without being face to face, but it becomes can I make peace within myself to the point where the question no longer matters?